Mak Tam Kg.Beng

Monday, November 22, 2010

Have a good laugh

Physiotherapist‏

Ha ha, I believe some people may have 'problem' with spelling words like physiotherapist, psychiatry, psychology, and whatever 'psycho.. at some time. Perhaps the following would help with remembering one of it ..

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Physio was an intelligent boy. After doing a physiotherapy course abroad for 3 years, he returned home and set up a clinic in his hometown.

He asked a designer to make a new name plate to be hung on the walloutside the clinic. The next morning when he went to his clinic, he was pleased to find that the name plate was already put up but he was greatly annoyed by the wordings on the plate : TUKANG URUT. He went to the designer and took him to task.

"How can you insult my profession? 'Tukang Urut' means masseur in Malay. I am a physiotherapist and not a masseur! Make sure you change the name right now! And see that the word is spelt correctly!" Physio said angrily.

The designer apologized and promised to make the changes immediately. Without further delay, he proceeded to change the name but found that the word "physiotherapist' was too long. So he broke it up into three words to make it easier to read.

The next morning, Physio hit the roof when he saw the new name. On the name plate were written : PHYSIO THE RAPIST

Monday, November 8, 2010

marriage ....so funny

Commandments 1

Marriages are made in heaven.

But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say,

Talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;

The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said .

After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.

That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

email dari seorg rakan.........

PERTOLONGAN ALLAH SANGAT DEKAT….

Pada suatu hari hujan cukup lebat melanda kota. Semua warga mengungsi menyelamatkan dirinya kecuali seorang ustadz dengan penuh keyakinan Allah akan menyelamatkan dirinya bila tetap tinggal di masjid,

disetiap detiknya dia memohon kepada Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, sementara banjir sudah menggenangi teras masjid.

Sebuah perahu hendak menyelamatkan, mengevakuasi ustadz itu tetapi ditolaknya dan berkata, 'Terima kasih saya akan tetap bertahan dimasjid ini.'Hujan semakin lebat, banjir semakin tinggi dan

datanglah perahu kedua hendak menolong ustadz tetapi ditolak lagi, 'Terima kasih, saya percaya Allah akan tetap menolong saya.'Hujan tak kunjung berhenti sehingga keadaan sudah sangat gawat

tetapi

datang perahu ketiga, ustadz tak juga mau dievakuasi, 'Allah pasti menolong saya, jadi saya akan tetap disini.'

Akhirnya banjir itu menenggelamkan masjid dan ustadz tak lagi terselamatkan. Dihadapan Allah, sang ustadz protes kepada Allah. 'Ya Allah, saya adalah hambaMu yang beriman kepadaMu tetapi Engkau kenapa tidak menyelamatkan aku dari banjir?' Kenapa Engkau membiarkan saya menderita Ya Allah?'

Allah kemudian menjawab, 'Bukankah AKU telah mengirimkan tiga perahu untuk menyelamatkan dirimu?'

Pesan kisah diatas bahwa hadirnya pertolongan Allah kepada diri kita seringkali kita tidak pahami. Kita sudah curhat, berkeluh kesah kepada Allah, kita merasa doa kita tidak dikabulkan, masalah kita malah semakin berat seolah Allah tidak sayang kepada kita lagi.

Padahal pertolongan Allah senantiasa hadir dengan cara yang tidak terbatas.

Bisa jadi hadirnya pertolongan Allah itu dalam bentuk nasehat, tulisan, bantuan, guncangan, senyuman, sentilan, makian, tangisan, pujian atau dalam bentuk yang lain.

Ketika

kita sekarang sedang dirundung masalah, Apakah kita sudah cukup peka terhadap hadirnya pertolongan Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala yang ada dihadapan kita? Ataukah justru kita mengabaikannya?

Padahal pertolongan Allah itu sangat dekat,

sebagaimana firman Allah.'Ingatlah, sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu sangat dekat.' (QS. al-Baqarah: 214)

LOVE THIS PARABLE! LoL!

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real 'miser' when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...

'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me..'
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there- dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket,

the wife said, 'Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away So her friend said,'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'
The loyal wife replied,'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word.

I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

Thursday, February 4, 2010

To all My Precious Friends

Tequila and Salt

This should probably be tapedto your bathroom mirror

where one could read it every day.

You may not realize it,but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world

that you would die for.

2.. At least 15 people in this world

love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you

because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,

even if they don'tlike you.

5. Every night,

SOMEONE thinks about you

before they go to sleep..

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9.. When you make the biggest mistake ever,

something good comes from it.

10. When you think the worldhas turned its back on you

take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received..

Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember...

when life hands you Lemons,

ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

Good friends are like stars..........

You don't always see them,

But you know they are always there.

"Whenever God Closes One Door

He Always Opens Another,

Even Though
Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"I

would rather have one rose and a kind word

from a friend while I'm here

than a whole truck load when I'm gone..

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You H umble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But OnlyGod keeps You Going

7 sunnah Rasulullah SAW yang terbaik...

"Cerdasnya orang yang beriman adalah, dia yang mampu mengolah hidupnya yang sesaat, yang sekejap untuk hidup yang panjang. Hidup bukan untuk hidup, tetapi hidup untuk Yang Maha Hidup. Hidup bukan untuk mati, tapi mati itulah untuk hidup.

Kita jangan takut mati, jangan mencari mati, jangan lupakan mati, tapi rindukan mati. Kerana, mati adalah pintu berjumpa dengan Allah SWT. Mati bukanlah cerita dalam akhir hidup, tapi mati adalah awal cerita sebenarnya, maka sambutlah kematian dengan penuh ketakwaan.

Hendaknya kita selalu menjaga tujuh sunnah Nabi setiap hari.

Ketujuh sunnah Nabi SAW itu adalah:

Pertama: tahajjud, kerana kemuliaan seorang mukmin terletak pada tahajjudnya. .

Kedua: membaca Al-Qur'an sebelum terbit matahari Alangkah baiknya sebelum mata melihat dunia, sebaiknya mata membaca Al-Qur'an terlebih dahulu dengan penuh pemahaman.

Ketiga: jangan tinggalkan masjid terutama di waktu shubuh. Sebelum melangkah kemana pun langkahkan kaki ke masjid, kerana masjid merupakan pusat keberkahan, bukan kerana panggilan muadzin tetapi panggilan Allah yang mencari orang beriman untuk memakmurkan masjid Allah.

Keempat: jaga solat dhuha, kerana kunci rezeki terletak pada solat dhuha.

Kelima: jaga sedekah setiap hari. Allah menyukai orang yang suka bersedekah, dan malaikat Allah selalu mendoakan kepada orang yang bersedekah setiap hari.

Keenam: jaga wudhu terus menerus kerana Allah menyayangi hamba yang berwudhu. Kata khalifah Ali bin Abu Thalib, "Orang yang selalu berwudhu senantiasa ia akan merasa selalu solat walau ia sedang tidak solat, dan dijaga oleh malaikat dengan dua doa, ampuni dosa dan sayangi dia ya Allah".

Ketujuh: amalkan istighfar setiap saat.. Dengan istighfar masalah yang terjadi kerana dosa kita akan dijauhkan oleh Allah.

Zikir adalah bukti syukur kita kepada Allah. Bila kita kurang bersyukur, maka kita kurang berzikir pula, oleh kerana itu setiap waktu harus selalu ada penghayatan dalam melaksanakan ibadah ritual dan ibadah ajaran Islam lainnya. Zikir juga merupakan makanan rohani yang paling bergizi, dan dengan zikir berbagai kejahatan dapat ditangkal sehingga jauhlah umat manusia dari sifat-sifat yang berpangkal pada materialisme dan hedonisme.

Wassalam…